In less than 48 hours, the Headingley AFC XXX v All-Star Legend Old Headingley XI match will be kicking off, but all is not well in Camp Legend (insert joke about Mendez here).

There has been a nasty undercurrent of discontent amongst the Legends. Our source informs us it all started when manager Chris Burns resumed listening to his vast back catalogue of the Pussycat Dolls over the past month. He was consequently inspired by the audacious move undertaken by Nicole Scherzinger in the hit collaboration with A R Rahman, Jai Ho! where it was known as A R Rahman & The Pussycat Dolls Featuring Nicole Scherzinger. The writing was on the wall for the Pussycat Dolls after this brazen attempt of limelight hogging, and they consequently only released two more singles before splitting.

Could you therefore imagine the reaction of Pete Tebay and Adam Molloy when a vote was cast to see whether the Legends should change their name to “All-Star Legend Old Headingley XI hosted by your friend, all round good guy and animal lover, Chris Burns”? Luckily, with the vote tied at 10-10, it was left to newly announced Legend Josh Clarke to cast his vote. Josh, having left 5 years ago, had had time to reflect on his tenure at Old Headingley. He muttered something about lifts to training changing him, and not for the better. He then got injured, couldn’t vote so the vote was decreed null and void.

As you were.