It’s that time of year again, just after Bonfire Night, and just before Ryan Giggs’ birthday when Burnsy announces he’s either leaving or stepping down as manager. So, as is customary following one of his overly elaborate self indulgent parties at the Skyrack, we can announce that at 1pm on Sunday 16th November, the current Headingley AFC will put out a mixed 1sts/2nds team against OLD Headingley AFC All Star XI, formed from players who were at one point part of our setup between the 2001/02 season and the 2013/2014 season.

In the first shock of the build up to the game is that Chris Burns has confirmed that he will be manager of the Legends XI, with long time management fall-guy Richard Hamilton as assistant and Leigh Fearn as consultant coach.

Rumours of people such as Mark ‘Chicken and Beans’ Crabtree, Danny ‘Judas’ Keating, Dax ‘classic centre half’ Scutt, Andy ‘all I post about on facebook is drinking Negronis and organic tequila’ Hallam and little (best) Andy Williams are unsubstantiated at this point, but rest assured the legends will have a strong, experienced team.

The current Headingley AFC team will no doubt be ready to show that the pupils can become the masters, but with Austin, Booth and Pickup all shirking the opportunity to write their name in to folklore, the scene is set for Jordan Clarke to become the new Bad Boy of Goalkeeping, that Matt Lofthouse will soon be known as ‘Chance…Goal’ and Kieran Burns will FINALLY take the title of ‘He who tries the hardest by running around a lot’ off Marc Heaps.

To finish, let me regale you with a visual tale of how the legends looked really awkward when they were younger less old.

Joe Ward Hearty Sandwich Spitting Headingley Footballer Richard Hamilton Daniel Keating Ilkley Snowflake the Albino Gorilla Jewish centre half in Headingley Yorkshire Asian Player of the Year perfect footballing body- Copy mans man tim manuel Chinese Dog Action Man of HEadingleyburnsy and kemp- Copy lanky streak of piss